Girl Gamers - A Message to Male Gamers

It's clear that 2013 was a bad year for blogging. I am hoping to improve this year. I'm afraid I'm kicking off with a bit of a rant.

I should confess that I am a girl gamer. I've played video games for a long time and I get a lot of enjoyment from them. I've met some amazing people through gaming. It's a hobby that me and Mr Husband both enjoy. And we have had some laughs through gaming!

Gaming has changed in the last 10 years. Increasing numbers of girls are enjoying video games. I remember a time when some clans wouldn't consider having girls and those experiences are now being far and few. I'm very proud to be part of this movement within women and gaming.

I really want to stress one thing before I continue on.  The majority of men play games with women with no problems whatever. We all have a laugh at each other's good and bad points without playing the gender card. But yet, there is still some men who still view women in gaming negatively. Either that we aren't as good or just plan rubbish. These comments don't really bother me. I'm not great at all aspects of gaming, but I'm happy to admit that because no one is.

What bothers me more is some blokes seem to think that women gamers must WANT sexual comments, photos of you-know-wants and clearly want to be hit on. That MUST be the reason why we play games. 

The reason I'm writing this is that every so often, I get a random friend request. There's little information, it's not from a clan that I'm part of and I haven't played with them recently. I want to be polite to people so I kindly ask who they are before accepting. It could be "I was on the opposite team  on name-a-game-here", "I'm a friend of X-Y-Z" or various reasons. The gamers are being friendly, so I'll add them. But today, I got a friend request and did the same. This got a reaction of a voice message with heavy breathing. Then a party invite a few minutes later.  I replied, refusing the invite. By this point, I figured which was going to be the next step - but unsure in what method they were going to do it. I got a message back asking if a was a girl.  I pointed out that I was happily married and no reply came back.

Credit where credit is due here. This person was polite and asked if I was a girl. But this has not always been the case. I've had rude sexual comments and I've had photos of various body parts. But when I've refused to take part in their mind games, I've had rude abuse back, name calling and then sometimes, getting negative feedback on my reputation on Xbox live.

If this was done in any other situation, it wouldn't be accepted. But because it's online it's viewed as ok. I want to send out a strong message to any gamer:

It's not ok to be like this.
It is NOT OK.
It's sexualist, rude and really showing your true opinions that all women are objects.

Oddly, this comes a few days after my friend shared an image on girl gaming. It read "Yes, I am a girl gamer. No I don't want: your phone number, random friend request or to hook up with you." But it started an interesting discussion. With someone revealing that they no longer state they are a female on their account. But it shouldn't be like this. We should've able to reveal that we are women and me not to view it as an invite to hit on us.

I hope that the gaming industry help with this. Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo should actively ban gamers who act like this. And gamers who get this treatment should feel supported by the company. We need to stop this attitude. We should all play games together, regardless of gender.

Fake Girl Geeks

This might come across as a bit of a rant but I really need to speak my mind about this.

I've been given various links such as this YouTube Video and an article about how the term geek is so meaningless, that there's no point using it anymore - especially since there are girls going around doing it for attention

Point One: Who Are These So Called Girls?!
I mean, seriously? Every geeky girl I've met have been genuine geeky girls with either similar interests as me or similar interests to Mr Husband. I'm yet to meet one that acts and behaviours like they are doing it for the attention of a geeky bloke. Also, you are basically insulting the intelligence of geeky guys. How? Well, you are basically suggesting that they wouldn't see through it that girl for who they really are - someone doing it purely for the attention.

Point Two: Who Are These Guys To Judge Girl Geeks on Looks Alone?
If you watch the YouTube video (which I recommend) then she makes a very good point that geeky guys are justifying who is a geeky girl by their looks, not our interests or personalities. What gives any man - not just geeky guy - the right to be so completely sexist towards women?! I have a great personality (even though I'm shy) and I'm sure Mr Husband agrees with me since he's my husband. This this way of categorising women based purely on looks is degrading.

Point Three: The Geeky World Has to Wake Up and Smell the Coffee
It's worrying on some comments towards girl geeks are getting around. And geeks really need to wake up. And I agree, its even more difficult being a girl geek than a guy geek. I'm not saying that being a guy geek is easy - far from it. But as soon as I join MW3 games, I just get abuse for being female. I often play online games without my mice because I really don't want the abuse from guys. I'm really lucky in the sense that those who do know me, know that I might not be the greatest, but I do it for the entertainment. I've met some really great friends from my geeky interests. I even met my Husband though my love of photography (we are both photography geeks). But its not just geeks. Some sections of industry really need to wake up to girl geeks. For example, if you customise your avatar on Xbox 360, the main colours are pink and purple. I hate both of them. Not all girls are over the top, pink lovers. Some are, but most aren't

Girl geeks have made some progress in the geek world. Lets not start closing doors now because of wrong attitudes towards being a female geek. Whether you are male or female, we all have a common interest. So lets not fight over it, lets enjoy discussing the important geeky things - like we always should be